Ages 19 – 24

Young Adulthood: Ages 18–24 

Because there is limited evidence-based information available specifically for this stage of parenting, we have gathered a variety of resources that we believe may be helpful. Some were developed by PhDs, physicians, and other professionals outside of our local area and may not fit the traditional definition of an “evidence-based” resource. However, we found their information, perspectives, and practical guidance to be valuable and relevant to parents and caregivers navigating this stage of their child’s development. We hope these resources provide helpful ideas, reassurance, and support as you find what works best for your family. . Building a stronger relationship with your adult children is an ongoing process. You’ll need patience, respect, and a willingness to evolve. By shifting from a directive role to one of mutual respect, offering support without controlling, and communicating openly, you’re likely to create a relationship that’s more satisfying for both of you.

 

What is Happening at This Stage? 

Ages 18–24 fall within a developmental period often called emerging adulthood.  The transition into adulthood has changed over time. Education may last longer, career paths may take time to establish, housing costs can affect when young people leave home, and young adults may move between periods of greater and lesser dependence on family. The Family Institute’s guide describes several characteristics associated with emerging adulthood, drawing from Jeffrey Arnett’s developmental framework: 

• Identity exploration
  Young adults are continuing to explore who they are, what they value, what relationships they want, and what direction they want their lives to take. 

• Instability
  Education, employment, relationships, living arrangements, and plans may change during these years. 

• Self-focus
  Young adults have greater opportunity to make decisions based on their own needs, values, interests, and goals. 

• Feeling in-between
  A young person may feel like an adult in some situations while still relying on parents in others.  
• Possibilities
  Young adulthood can bring opportunities to explore different futures and make significant decisions about work, relationships, education, and lifestyle. 

Emerging Adults-The Family Institute

Through research, education and clinical services, The Family Institute of Northwestern University is one of the nation’s leading relationships-based behavioral health organizations committed to strengthening and healing children and adolescents, couples, families and individuals.  

The Family Institute: Emerging Adults’ Relationships With Their Parents — The Family Institute 

Parenting Adult Children as They Age 

Parenting Adult Children as They Age | Psychology Today 

• Each decade of your adult child’s life has its own predictable demands and challenges
• Understanding their current life stage,you can adapt your strategies for dealing with them effectively
• Make sure that your relationship with your adult child isn’t perceived as a demand
• When your kids are grown, you still have many years to develop, negotiate and refine your relationships. 
• A new approach to parenting is needed when children become adults.  
• Our role is no longer to manage or direct our adult children, but to mentor and accept them.
• It’s essential to respect an adult child’s autonomy and boundaries
• None of these circumstances alone tells us whether someone is successfully becoming an adult.   The parent role doesn’t disappear, it becomes more flexible.  At different times, a young adult might need a parent to be: Taking responsibility for your own mistakes can help heal and strengthen your relationship.

Social Connection as a Protective Factor 

Social connection is about the relationships young adults build with others and the sense of belonging, care, support, and value they experience through those connections. As young adults become more independent, it is important for them to have opportunities to develop meaningful relationships beyond their parents and immediate family. These may include relationships with:

• friends

• siblings

• romantic partners

• extended family

• mentors

• coworkers

• classmates

• community groups

• trusted professionals
  

Parents should not be expected to meet every social or emotional need. However, a supportive parent-young adult relationship can be one important part of a larger network of connection. During a stage characterized by significant transitions, supportive relationships can provide stability, encouragement, practical assistance, and people to turn to during difficult experiences.  For parents, this means the goal isn’t to keep your young adult dependent on you, it is to maintain a relationship in which connection remains possible while encouraging them to develop additional relationships, resources, and sources of support. 

Boundaries & Privacy 

Young adulthood naturally raises new questions about boundaries. Parents and caregivers may need to rethink how they offer guidance, support, and expectations. Boundaries can shift from rules and limits set by parents to mutual respect, open communication, and agreements that recognize the young adult’s growing independence while maintaining a supportive relationship. Questions may include:  

• Privacy
  How much information does the young adult want to share? 
  • How much information does the parent want to hear?

• Communication
  How frequently does each person expect calls, texts, or updates? 

• Living at home
  What household expectations apply to an adult living in a shared home? 

• Relationships
  What information about friendships or romantic relationships is private? 

• Finances
  What financial assistance is available? What expectations accompany it? 

• Decision-making
  Which decisions belong to the young adult? 

 

When You’re Concerned About Your Young Adult 

When you’re concerned about your young adult, connection over control doesn’t mean ignoring genuine concerns. It means staying connected, listening without judgment, and approaching difficult conversations with care while still addressing concerns and offering support when needed.  Parents may notice changes involving: 

• Alcohol or substance use; 

• Relationships; 

• Isolation; 

• Work or school; 

• Finances; 

• Self-care; 

• Unsafe situations. 
  

Parents can express genuine concern while recognizing that their adult child has increasing authority over their own life. The goal is to communicate care without taking away their independence:

Express concern + listen + maintain connection + encourage support when needed.

Parents Are Going Through a Transition Too 

Young adulthood isn’t only a developmental transition for the young person—it is also a time of change for parents and caregivers. As young adults become more independent, parents are learning to adjust their role, expectations, and ways of offering support while maintaining a strong and caring relationship.  Parents may experience: 

• Uncertainty — When should I step in? 

• Loss — They don’t need me the way they used to. 

• Worry — What if they make the wrong decision? 

• Pride — They’re becoming their own person. 

• Conflict — We see things very differently now. 

• Adjustment — What does being their parent look like now? 

It is reasonable for parents to need time to adjust.  Parents can also maintain their own friendships, relationships, interests, activities, health, and identity outside of parenting.  A healthy transition allows both people to grow.